Why is it important to heal your inner child?

Many people who have experienced trauma as children have wounds that are sealed into their subconscious mind, their inner child.

Even people who haven’t experienced child neglect or trauma could have faced negative experiences that have stuck with them through the years.

What is an inner child ?

Most of the time, when a child is born, it is in a state of completion and harmony. However as the child grows and starts taking inputs from the environment, from parents, from schools, … the mind starts developing a critical filter of judgement and starts operating on a binary system of duality.

In this process, whenever the child is exposed to any hostility either advertently or inadvertently , a small part of the child freezes in shock at that moment and stops developing – leading to the creation of an “inner child”.

The development process is continued by the remaining personality which subsequently becomes the adult.

We are who we are today because of all the ages we have been before.

While we exist as adults, our inner child is still inside of us. You can think of your inner child as the younger version of yourself which is stuck or frozen somewhere inside you.

It is often that part of our personality that responds to challenges. The inner child created with the trauma and the memory of it, stays inside the adult and tends to get activated whenever this adult personality is faced with a trauma similar to that of the inner child.

For example, if your 8-year-old self was wounded or traumatized, though you are an adult now, it is that 8 year old self who responds to similar conflicts in your life because that wound hasn’t healed.

All the issues you may experience in today’s life come from an inner child.

Why is healing your inner child important?

The subconscious mind is the most receptive for children until 5 years old.

This means that our experiences up until that age will largely impact our emotional routines and the information we use going forward.

Based on the roles we were told to play in our household (verbally or nonverbally), our brains created survival tactics.

These tactics were informed by our caregivers, through observing how they processed emotions, particularly sadness and anger.

This becomes a script for the subconscious mind when making decisions.

Reparenting our inner-child allows us to reflect on and re-write that script.

When a child’s needs are not met, something very tragic happens. They never stopped loving their parents but immediately they stopped loving themselves.

When you’re a little girl / boy or even a tiny baby, you have very few needs and the needs are to feel safe, to feel love, to feel connected and as you get a little bit older your needs are the same. You want to feel safe; you want to feel connected, but you also want to feel celebrated. You want to feel that your parents are proud of you.

And then you become an adult. And, you still have the same needs. You want to feel safe, loved, connected, secure, celebrated, proud of Me.

What happens with children is when these needs aren’t met, they give that needs away.

They never stopped loving their parents; immediately they stopped loving themselves and they often carry that with them forever. They give up their needs. “I’m never going to find love”, “I’m never gonna matter”, “Things are never going to work out”.

But there is another way, and the only way is to meet the need yourself.

How can you heal your inner child on your own?

Take a minute now and think about what your need is.

You need to feel important, significant, lovable, smart, interesting, intelligent. Then say it to yourself: “I’m smart”, “I’m lovable”, “I’m amazing”, “I’ve got something to offer the world”.

It sounds weird that you’re thinking of you and even saying it to yourself. But I can guarantee you 100% that your mind listens literally to the words you say to yourself and the pictures you make in your head.

So, if you needed your mum to tell you that you were gorgeous, your dad to tell you that you were significant, your teacher to tell you that you were smart, and they never did it.

They are never going to do it. It’s unreasonable to expect people who never met our needs to suddenly meet them. So, whatever your needs are, start saying to yourself:

🞳 I’m the favourite kid.

🞳 I’m the most amazing child.

🞳 I matter so much to my parents

🞳 I’m smart

🞳 I’m lovable

Keep saying it and saying it even if it’s not true.

Remember, your mind doesn’t know and doesn’t care about what you tell.

“Your mind does not care if what you say is good, bad, indifferent, true, false, healthy, unhealthy, right or wrong. It simply acts on your words regardless.” Marisa Peer.

The way to transform your life is to work with your subconscious mind. Because all your beliefs, emotions, habits, protective reactions, long term memory, are stored in your subconscious mind. Book your free discovery call now to ask me anything on how to heal your inner child and hypnotherapy.